Thursday, September 30, 2010

First Taste of Small Town New York

    I woke early at Dingman’s and cooked bacon and eggs.  I made the discovery that if you cook scrambled eggs in a pan that contains extremely hot bacon grease, it takes about fifteen seconds to cook them.  I paid $35 for the campsite to a girl who had a football field of cleavage protruding from her blouse.  No comment to any questions about her age.
    I drove through Port Jervis which is technically in New York, but is basically at the intersection of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania.  It’s a small town and had a strip of town houses which were of such appearance that I couldn’t tell if there were lower, middle or upper class.  I passed one young couple who were attaching gear to their bicycles as if about to go on an overnight camping trip.  Something I’ve always wondered about.
    I drove into Middletown and went to a theater to see Eat, Pray, Love.  Even though the movie got bad reviews, I thought it would be cool to see a movie about someone going on an adventure while I was in the middle of an adventure.  One bad thing about finding restaurants or movie theaters in other cities using Google Maps is that occasionally it brings me to a mall.  For restaurants I’ll just go somewhere else, but for a movie, I decided to check it out.
    As soon as I walked in I realized something strange was happening.  I had entered the type of place which least represents what my trip is about.  People go to malls to buy THINGS.  Things that sit in their closets and never get used.  There’s something about malls that are so inviting though.  I think malls everywhere smell the same.  I recognized the smell even though it must have been years (yes, years) since I’ve been in one.  The crisp, clean smell of fresh linens, the aroma of cookies and hot pretzels all sending subtle messages of buy, buy, buy, buy.  Truly an atrocious place when you think about it.  I resisted the urge to buy a thing, but the draw of the mall pizza was too great for my hunger to resist even though I was supposed to be on my week long, “make all my own meals” plan.
    The movie wasn’t great, but it reminded me of the story which was.  I pondered as I sometimes do as to why it takes an event like a divorce for most people to go traveling/soul searching around the world.  If anyone is making a life manual out there, make sure to put the “Find Yourself” section before the “Find a Mate” section even though few will probably take the advice because, “She’s just so damn smokin’ hot man.”  Yeah okay.
    It was after seven when the movie finished.  I called a private campground I had called before the movie and the lady backed down from her offer to come meet me at the campsite from her house.  I called another site and an old man answered and said he’d meet me.  I put the campground in my GPS and headed that way, but then my phone started going ape shit.  The first thing that happened was the worst.  Just when I had driven out of Middletown and down this dark country road, my phone screen just goes black.  Not a good thing to happen when it’s the one giving you directions.  Even worse: I can’t call the guy back (or anyone) and don’t remember the campsite name.  When my phone finally does come back, it first tells me I’m half a mile north of the route I’m supposed to be on and the next second it tells me I’m just ahead of my destination.  So, I don’t know where the hell I am.  On top of all this, there’s a truck riding my ass.  I finally get to an intersection with a street sign just around a curve and hit the brakes to turn around upon which the truck behind me gives me a fuck you honk.  After looking at the sign, I figure out I’m very close to my destination.  The people at the campsite were very nice and I apologized for keeping the old man up who said he was just about to go to bed when I called.  I had a very weak signal, but managed to keep track of most of the first Saints game of the season.  WHO DAT!

5 comments:

texascandler said...

My comments today. 1) Going to a chick flick without a chick. Not sure about that one. 2) Looks like you need a backup GPS and Cell phone. 3) I stongly disagree with your conclusion that you should find yourself before you find a mate. I found my mate at a very young age and the being able to share every adventure, every victory and every hardship every beautiful sunset with her. The abily to share your life and experiences with someone that you love is what I would write as chapter 1 in my book. So, reguardless of climbing a mountain together, watching a fantastic rock concert, enjoying a world class opera, or just sitting at home watching TV, its sharing it with someone that I love that is important.

texascandler said...

So, your uncle John's a bad speller and didn't proofread his post to finish his thoughts (sorry, John!)...yet, I like what he was trying to say. Finding each other's mates first, and living our adventure together worked for us. Having said that, there is no one path that works for for all. Hope October has been great so far, and that you've found a backup cellphone, just in case.

RR said...

This is funny. So the first bite of New York had hints of mall pizza, cleavage, technical difficulties and an f/u honk . . . glad there was a kind man at the end of that story.

On a general blog note, the pictures are so fantastic. Put me down for a first edition of the book version. I was just telling my mom at dinner that I was looking for another funny travel book like the Reluctant Tuscan. If I'd have read this first, I wouldn't have been jonesing.

texascandler said...

Well so there you have it, Aunt Magali can support me,hold me accountable, spin, translate,edit whatever I say as needed.

That is why I will love her for for ever. ( her post was not perfect on the proof read)

Gayle said...

The pictures are amazing, and I can't stop reading the blogs. This is definitely a book in the making.

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